Saying goodbye to a longtime friend

I cried a lot the other day. It was the first time I really cried a good cry in years. Crying takes a lot out of you, you know... bodies just aren't meant to deal with the intense emotional outpour and I think trying to fight it just makes you even more tired, kind of like trying to swim straight out of a riptide. It wasn't a fun day.

Peanut was a cat that I've had for around 14 years. I grew up with her and she grew up with my mother and me. She was a great companion and was a great part of the family. Unfortunately she needed to be put to sleep last weekend. It was a very hard decision for my mother to make, but she'd been sick for quite a while and was treated successfully for thyroid issues. She underwent radiation therapy to treat and cure the disease, which it did, but she never seemed to become herself again. She ate less, had a very fickle stomach and lost a lot of weight. In the day before the decision was made to put her to sleep, she had stopped eating and was no longer able to jump up on the bed. It was time.

Pets are a huge part of my life. I've always had one except for the month or so after I moved in with my girlfriend at the time (and now my wonderful wife) and it just feels like something's missing when I don't have one. Peanut was a part of our family for a long time and it feels weird to know that she's not going to be there the next time I visit my mother's place.

I've never experienced putting a pet to sleep before. It's tough. My mother mostly worries about whether the time was right and whether or not the animal understands what's going on. I think that Peanut understood and trusted our decision. She trusted us to take care of her for her whole life up to that point and I'm confident that she trusted us then, too. I'm quite convinced that if she were living in the wild, she would have not fought to stay alive as long as she did, and making her do that for any longer would just have been selfish and cruel.

Saying goodbye to Peanut was a very hard thing to do but I think it was the best thing for her. I hope that she didn't feel any pain and was able to go off to sleep in peace.

Below is the last picture I took of her. It was taken a few months ago. She is missed.

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